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admin
on Mon 21 of June, 2010 17:03 EDT
This started as a facebook meme, and I decided to post it here on my blog.
0. Rules can always be broken, but the key is to understand the consequences. Sometimes the only consequence is that other people will follow your example. Anyone who has led soldiers or has kids understands the terrible ramifications of this.
1. When it comes to writing, I am a perfectionist. This is why writing a thesis was excruciating for me. Writing 25 random thoughts isn’t quite as bad.
2. Academia has taught me that belief does not equal reality. This applies to both science and religion. Just because we have a model of electrons whizzing around doesn’t mean that that is actually what is happening. Most of what we “know” is analogy. However, as long as the analogy allows us to make life better, we should continue to use it. Until we find a better belief/model. The same applies to religion.
3. I’ve read the Bible, the Koran, the Teachings of Buddha, and the Kama Sutra. I’ve found that most people’s actual beliefs are thankfully inconsistent with the literal doctrine of their religious texts. The exceptions, we call fanatics, and generally agree they should be locked up. It still baffles me why so many people equate religion with morality.
4. I also went to summer Bible camp with my best friend in grade school who was the son of a Baptist preacher. The most lasting thing I learned that summer was Kenny Roger’s, “The Gambler”, which we sang approximately 16 million times consecutively every day until the bus driver made us stop. The culmination of my spiritual studies is that I believe life is a lot like poker.
5. Ends don’t justify means; means only lead to other means; the only end is continued existence, but without meaning, existence is, well, meaningless. Know what I mean?
6. I wept on 9-11 when I realized all we would sacrifice in the name of fighting terrorism. It turns out I was right. Although I am proud to have served in both Afghanistan and Iraq, I wish I could have had a bigger impact. I also am ashamed at how the Bush administration represented my country. If our leaders had better understood #0 and #5, we would not have had Abu Gharaib or Guantanamo.
8. My political beliefs have changed as I’ve gotten older. One thing that has not changed is my belief that two parties are not enough.
9. I’ve been to 38 countries and have lived in 8 different states. My wife accuses me of being a homebody.
10. Old age comes with wisdom, as much as the other way around. Reading the Darwin Awards every year is always entertaining, and makes me feel superior, even though I realize I’ve been lucky at least as many times as I’ve been smart. I have become more humble as I’ve gotten older, perhaps because the more I learn the more I realize I don’t know.
11. If you add up all the statistics of the possible ways to die, they add up to 100% (actually I suspect they actually add up to slightly more than 100%, which either implies exaggeration or that some of us will have to kick the bucket more than once). You can’t be afraid of dying, without being afraid of living.
12. ANYTHING in sufficient quantity is a poison. Everyone wants to sell you something to cure what ails you. Most the time what ails you is too much of something. Unfortunately, in our consumer society there is no good way to make money selling someone less of something (although bottled water comes damn close). The ONLY proven way to extend longevity is caloric restriction. The same concept applies to conservation of the environment. The best medicine is moderation.
13. Most people are not willing to sacrifice consumption for the sake of extending their own lives, much less for the environment. I find that I am like most people in practice. I still need to eat less, and bicycle more than I drive.
14. It took me 5 yrs to get my BS, 12 yrs to get a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, 4 yrs for my MS, and 37 yrs to have my first kid. Needless to say, I don’t believe in destinations, only journeys. For me, it’s the thrill of the hunt, not the trophy on the wall.
15. Even though I’ve studied Russian for 20 yrs, I still can’t have an intelligent conversation in it. However, I can tell when my wife is talking about me.
16. I love to cook. It is a creative outlet for me, akin to invention and performing science experiments. It works best with willing guinea pigs. Unfortunately I like to be one of my own guinea pigs, hence #13.
17. My mom is a great person. I know it’s a cliché, but I attribute most of what I am to her and wish more people (including myself) could be more like her.
18. When I was a teenager, I was a great driver and enjoyed driving. Now driving is just a way to get from A to B, and bad drivers cause me to develop Tourette’s Syndrome until I remember #0 and #17.
19. I always wanted to be an astronaut, up until I got married, when I realized I never want to leave my family for that long. I still believe that the smartest thing we can do collectively is get some of our eggs off this planet, so they are not all in one basket.
20. If I were a benevolent alien (and I deny that I am) of superior intelligence and advanced technology, I would not reveal myself until humans were smart enough to communicate with chimps. If you aren’t smart enough to learn the language of a species who shares your planet and 98% of your DNA, how could you pitiful humans ever hope to understand a completely alien intelligence from another world? By you, I mean us, of course.
21. I’m often accused of liking to play the devils advocate, because I like to say outrageous things in order to have something about which to argue. I’m positive I get this from my dad. On the other hand, I rarely get emotional about an argument.
22. Just because I’m an engineer doesn’t mean I can do complex arithmetic in my head, remember my wife’s phone number, or even count to 25 (see #7).
23. The best advice I know, I didn’t discover until I was almost 30. It has been attributed to many people, most often to Mark Twain: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you in trouble, so much as what you know for sure that ain’t so.” Along with grad school, and being married to a woman much smarter than I am, this has helped to humble me. Anyone who knew me in high school would agree that I could have used a helping or two of humble pie.
24. Nobody listens to free advice. This never stops most people from giving it. I always wish I could remember this when I’m about to open my big mouth.
25. Psychologists have shown that people never believe the first person who tells them something, but they invariably believe the second person. I never know if people aren’t listening to me because I am too far ahead of my time or because I’m not charging them enough for my advice (see #24). To find out what #7 is, send $25 via Paypal or check.
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